Movies are about escapism but they can also give you great advice on what NOT to do in any number of situations. This is particularly true in the case of weddings. Whether it’s doing your research on the Celebrant before your big day (I’m sure we all remember Rowan Atkinson’s gaffe-prone Priest in Four Weddings and a Funeral) or discovering that it’s probably not wise to have anyone that looks like David Carradine in attendance (Kill Bill - blood stains sure are tough to get out of a wedding dress), films are a vital educational tool. Unfortunately, not everyone is privy to the lessons taught. Here are five real-life wedding disasters!
You have the right to remain ... married?
When Connecticut bride Adrienne Samen woke up on her wedding day back in August 2003, I doubt she had any idea of the events that were set to follow. Drunken guests are one thing but a STEAMING drunk bride with a short temper and penchant for throwing cake and biting police officers? That’s a recipe for disaster.
If the obscenity-laden rant and impromptu one-woman food fight wasn’t bad enough, you should have seen Adrienne’s reaction to the news that the bar staff had stopped serving drinks for the night!
She may have been arrested and fined for breaching the peace but a mug shot in your bridal dress – that’s a keeper!
Dress to impress … and protect
A wedding dress has got to be perfect. You need it to be durable, well-fitted, photo-friendly and of course, well-padded for the inevitable moment the wild beast in control of your horse-and-carriage goes rogue and does the bolt and your father pushes you out of your wedding carriage before it collides with an oncoming vehicle. Well, that certainly applied to Sophie Clarke before her December, 2008 wedding to Karl Woods in Worcestershire.
The bride suffered head and leg injuries, concussion and whiplash, but paramedics said she was saved from further injury by her £2,000 dress. Sophie and Karl married six weeks later – when the bride arrived by car.
Partners in Crime
Having one of the married couple in prison on their wedding night is bad enough but Fabiana Reyes and her husband, Elmo Jesus Fernandez thought they’d take it a step further whilst renewing their vows in 2012.
When the wedding band stopped playing to give the DJ a turn during the reception, all hell broke loose. Reyes got so frustrated that she “knocked over and damaged the band’s conga drums valued at $600, a speaker valued at $350 and other equipment,” according to the New York newspaper The Journal News.
A fight ultimately erupted between police and Reyes, her husband and their 21-year-old daughter. All three family members went to jail!
Be careful what you wish for …
“Let’s have a White Wedding” she said. “It will be magical” she said. Yeah, right…
Four days before marrying Jeffrey Humbert in Charlotte, North Carolina in December, 2002, Kathy Schneider saw her dream wedding unravel before her very eyes when a huge ice storm wiped out power lines in the region.
The rehearsal was lit by floodlight in the freezing stone church, the couple were forced to frantically relocate to another church on game day and to put the icing on the cake, the baker, ah, er, iced the $1,000 cake by melting chocolate in a gas station's microwave. Scrum-diddely disastrous!
The tale of the Good Seattle-an
I’ve decided to end on a high note with this last tale – proof that with the kindness of strangers and some divine intervention, wedding disasters can be overcome.
Strolling out of a Seattle hair salon four hours before her February 2000 nuptials, Amy Orr headed for her car (within it was her wedding dress) only to find it had disappeared.
Stumbling into a neighbourhood restaurant to call her groom, Orr walked in on the wedding reception of Ray and Emily Lewandowski. Emily, a total stranger, heard Orr's story and offered up her own wedding dress. It was a perfect fit and the wedding took off without a hitch. The two women remain firm friends. It’s like a script straight out of Hollywood …